is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You pole danced in your parka.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
