Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You were trust falling into bushes
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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