took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
nutella sex= disaster
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
