Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
