Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
PANTIES FOUND
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
