Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
