we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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