i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
