I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you win again, gameday.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
