well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
