If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
