ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
