all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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