I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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