we're blogging at a bar
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
