Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
