I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
