So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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