Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
