ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
