Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
