He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
