he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I need to align my fucking chakras
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
