fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
