Having a random hookup so left but love u
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
