Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
