there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
