real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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