that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
