Dual....:-)
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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