i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
