she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
