Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just high enough for therapy.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
