I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize