Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
my poor anus
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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