Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
