this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
