you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
