im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
