found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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