Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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