A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
