I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
40s are totally the cure
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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