The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
