I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
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Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
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Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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