He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
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Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
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I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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