Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
