I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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