chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
