He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
