Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i think my mom watched the whole time
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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