he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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