ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
did i walk over a car last night?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
