hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize