He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
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