If that was your dad, he is hot
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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