Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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