Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
