Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
