He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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