This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
